Candidates with smart phones will be given preference because certain assignments require it

We would not ever even think of actually providing any “required” tools that would help you do the job we want you to do. In fact, we’d like you to pay us for the privilege of working for us.

Much as we would prefer you pay us for this, em, er…. job, we can’t legally do that. However, since you will be paying a ton of expenses to work for us, we figure we are not actually going to be out that much at the whopping $9 / hr we are giving you (before you pay your taxes, of course).

By the time you get through paying your own taxes, your own SSI, your own travel expenses (gas plus insurance), paying for your meals (skip those, you can’t afford to eat), and paying for letting us take advantage of the MANDATORY tech you MUST HAVE (phone $40/mo Internet $60/mo, computer $500-$1500), … all of which YOU MUST pay for with ZERO reimbursement, you will be damn lucky to get $1 / hr.

Let’s see 10 hours / week = $90 / week – (taxes $10 gas $20 food $10 phone $10 internet $10 computer $30 insurance $30) = minus $30 awww.

You lost $30 paying all these MANDATORY expenses for your “great” new job. On the other under hand, the company probably made at least $1500 off your work.

Who? …. TNG is a leading merchandising company in the USA, servicing over 40,000 retail locations throughout the country.

(We won’t pay you squat, plus, since we are deeming you an “independent contractor” and will never give you more than 25 hours per week, we are not obliged to offer you anything that could remotely be considered a benefit.)

Candidates must have reliable transportation necessary for local travel and proof of insurance.

Candidates must have access to computer with internet, and email and be able to respond to regular communications.

Candidates must have access to camera or phone with the ability to take and upload pictures to company website.

Candidates with smart phones will be given preference because certain assignments require it.

Those hired without a smart phone will not be eligible for assignments that require one.

We are great, you are not

Programmer needed for long term project 
compensation: long term partnership
We are seeking someone that has experience writing original programming. This is a long term partnership we seek that will include several projects. Writing original programs is a MUST.

Please send references of your work along with why you would be a good fit. DO NOT respond if you don’t have time to put forth the effort. The right person will be a part of something great and have the long term stability everyone seeks.

Translation:

We don’t give a rat’s fanny about you. You MUST put forth 200% effort and spend hours crafting some great stories to get us to even consider you, and then, we are very likely to steal your ideas, and hire someone with less experience because we can.

We are going to wring every bit of creativity and dedication out of you for our benefit. You can be indentured to us for a long time. We will promise you ‘next week’ or ‘next month’ but that will always change. And if you complain about it, we will berate you for not being flexible and not being a team player.

We are the great job posters. Bow down before us.

btw – There won’t be any pay. There will be long hours, zero input to whatever we MUST have, an uncaring and uncompromising work environment, and oh, yeah, no pay.