We are great, you are not

Programmer needed for long term project 
compensation: long term partnership
We are seeking someone that has experience writing original programming. This is a long term partnership we seek that will include several projects. Writing original programs is a MUST.

Please send references of your work along with why you would be a good fit. DO NOT respond if you don’t have time to put forth the effort. The right person will be a part of something great and have the long term stability everyone seeks.

Translation:

We don’t give a rat’s fanny about you. You MUST put forth 200% effort and spend hours crafting some great stories to get us to even consider you, and then, we are very likely to steal your ideas, and hire someone with less experience because we can.

We are going to wring every bit of creativity and dedication out of you for our benefit. You can be indentured to us for a long time. We will promise you ‘next week’ or ‘next month’ but that will always change. And if you complain about it, we will berate you for not being flexible and not being a team player.

We are the great job posters. Bow down before us.

btw – There won’t be any pay. There will be long hours, zero input to whatever we MUST have, an uncaring and uncompromising work environment, and oh, yeah, no pay.

Simple courtesy is dead; long live Anonymous

Hello. We would like to arrange a time to interview you. We are not going to sign our emails because we don’t really care if you know who we are. We are extremely talented and wonderful; you are a peon — you must be a peon or you would not be looking for a job. We are great. You are not. Why should we sign our emails? You can just guess who you are writing to. It doesn’t matter if you know anything. We are perfect. You are not.

How unbelievably rude.

Don’t ask, won’t tell – not the half of it

Recruiter: Hello. I am {name} at {famous name recruiting company) I found your resume online. I have a job you may be interested in. Are you looking?

Candidate: (no, I posted my resume for jollies) Yes, I am looking.

Recruiter: That’s great. This job is very close to your location.

Candidate: What’s the name of the company?

Recruiter: Oh, I can’t disclose that.

Candidate: Well, I am actively looking. I may have already been submitted to that company.You need to tell me who it is.

Recruiter: That’s not possible. I cannot disclose the name of the company.

Candidate: Thanks for calling. Goodbye. (what a twit — doesn’t this fool know that double submittals automatically DISqualify the candidate; clearly does not care about me and has no respect for my time.)