Fill out our form

You must fill out our form. You must spend at least 10 minutes filling out our form. You must upload your resume. You must write a cover letter. Your resume must be customized for Our job — this one, not any other one. Your cover letter must explain in detail why you are the best person for this job – you shouldn’t expect us to think. We don’t care anyway.

We will never look at your cover letter or your resume. But you better have one or we won’t consider you. We won’t consider you anyway, we just want to see how many hoops you are willing to jump through.

Rest assured, we won’t ever search our database to try to find you if we have another opening. We will only ever consider you for this one opening. Not really. We have a matching system that will make sure your resume never sees the light of day.

If you want to be considered for another opening, you have to find it and apply. And we promise, we won’t contact you. The more work you do to try and get a job with us, the more we will ignore you. We just don’t care about you — even though our marketing group says we do, we don’t really.

Go ahead, apply. You don’t have anything better to do.